Gucci has a relatively classy option for you

I’ve made no secret of my largely negative feelings toward monogramed bags in the past, but that doesn’t mean that logo-decked designs can’t be done well on occasion. It would seem as though the birkin bag hermes is one such example of logo fabric used in an attractive way. Credit where credit is due!
The key to this design, of course, is that your eyes don’t go straight to the double-G monogram fabric. Instead, the multicolored webbing in the middle takes your attention immediately, minimizing the logos to little more than a border print. The traditional, neutral color combination also helps this bag look more dignified than the logo bags that gained favor in the mid-2000s, so if you just can’t help yourself and have to carry something with branding all over it, you could do a lot worse. If you’d like to take this look a step further in the right direction, though, try a similar bag with an archival Gucci check print instead of the monogram canvas.

In fact, not only does the Hermes Kelly 32 have a face, but it also appears to have arms and feet. All it needs is a jaunty little hat, and it’d be all ready to go…I don’t know, what do our bags do when we’re not using them? I think mine have a party under my bed, personally.
Anyway, that’s not the point. The point is that some people (including my mother) see faces on handbags everywhere they look. Some of the bags in my collection – the Celine Luggage Tote, the Balenciaga Day Bag, the Marc Jacobs Stam – are well known to some people for their strategically placed hardware and zippers, which can combine to crate a bagface if the purse is left sitting in the right position. (Or, with the Celine Luggage Tote, in any position at all.)
Personally, I don’t see bagfaces until someone point them out to me. I must have killed that synapse with cheap beer in college, because it’s not firing anymore. Even I can see the face on this one though, which may or may not be “inspired” by an Hermes Kelly with a face of which I cannot find a picture, which means it’s a little too obvious. And by “a little too obvious” I mean, hey, tone it down a little bit. We get it. You’re super adorable and twee and your fake birkin bag is smirking and waving at us. If nothing else, though, this gives me a compelling argument against the people who tell me that my Celine’s face is distracting.